Dear St. Rita Families,
Lent is upon us! Because February is for many something of a Lent in itself – because it is so cold and often gloomy – it may feel like Lent has been going on for some time now. But the good part about that is that it means the slog is over, even though Lent itself has just begun. Because are creatures of habit, getting used to anything takes a moment. Getting used to going without – or with less – is particularly hard, but we can, as a rule, get used to it.
The fact that we can get used to hardship raises a question about what sorts of hardships we should be looking to get used to, and what sorts of hardships are just temporary. Indeed, most people it seems desire no hardships at all in life, which is a severe misunderstanding of life and the world we live in. Many others have the false notion that all hardship necessarily ends after this life. We certainly hope so, but that is only true if you go straight to Heaven, with no stops in Purgatory. If you go to Hell, the hardships will never cease, which is all the more reason to embrace the hardships that the Lord allows us to face here on this earth.
As Christians, we try to step away from that question of hardships as such, because it tends to lead us to focus on ourselves rather than on God and neighbor. In contrast to focusing on ourselves, it is good to consider our hardships in light of God’s Will and God’s Love. Considering our hardships in reference to God actually enables us to distinguish those which are good for us, those which are not, those which are temporary, and those which are long term.
All things that come to us in this life are either directly willed or permitted by God who is Love Itself. As you come to know that Love, you also come to know who you are in light of that Love. Oftentimes, this knowledge of oneself comes alongside or with or through various hardships, because it is in the midst of those difficulties that we experience more clearly the Love of God for us. In that knowledge, we also begin to see how the various hardships we experience can either enable us to draw closer to God or could be a hindrance to our relationship with Him. Some of them are challenges, like those with which a good coach would train his players. These, though they test us (sometimes severely), are easily seen to help us grow in virtue and holiness.
Other hardships, though, are more like mack trucks. These are the ones that we don’t understand. At their most difficult, they turn our lives upside down. But all of them unsettle us and force us to accept the difficult path that God is placing in front of us. They are not hardships we would choose for ourselves, and our way through them can vary, depending on the circumstance. Some of them require setting boundaries for the sake of preventing damage (or further damage). This response is a point of growth in itself, because it requires us to be clear and assertive about that which is good. Others require endurance of a needed hardship that, regardless, forces us to re-think things. Still others force a reckoning with the Divine – I don’t understand this hardship, and I can’t change it, but all I can do is to trust.
Getting used to a hardship, then, shouldn’t be about just enduring it passively for the sake of enduring it. Hardship is endured for the sake of humility, perseverance, fortitude, hope, and love of God. If enduring hardship doesn’t help to produce those virtues, then it is perhaps time to seek to conquer (or change) the hardship. The process of doing so will help you to grow in those virtues. This Lent, then, may your profit from your Crosses! May you grow in love of God and neighbor, and faithfully witness to God’s Goodness in the midst of your difficulties!
In Christ,
Fr. Christensen